They Will Not Break You

I’m in the process of a fourth major life reinvention.

So many people say, in not so many words, I can’t do it.

Meh.

Almost every time you say you’re going to do something, remember you will almost always hear well-intentioned people tell you why it’s not a good plan.. They will kindly and generously offer you all the reasons why your idea isn’t a winner.

Ask anybody who has ever started their own business. They will give you a knowing smile. They heard the negative feedback while they were ramping up. When they failed, there was that avalanche of “I told you so…” that they had to hear from this same crowd – many times close friends and family members.

As if a fail was the endgame.

Your current boss may be trying to break you down, filling your head with noise. That’s one of the worst kinds of slowdowns. You’re trying to make it to Monday morning, right? It’s hard to be a creative genius when Bad Boss is in your head. 

They will not break you. No one will, because in the big picture, they aren’t all that important. They seem larger than life right now, but they will fall away and (in the case of a boss) move on to torture someone else.

Whether it’s yoga, working on a classic car, walking, or just sitting still for a while, do what you need to do to quiet your head and stay focused.

One way? Affirmations.

There is an avalanche of research on this. It’s not self-help quackery. It works. The reason it works is that saying something to yourself over and over and over again slowly rewires your brain. You start believing it.

“I will not be afraid of change.”

“I will not be wary of my personal relationships.”

“I am competent and qualified for this job.”

Every morning I sit with a cup of coffee and do some affirmations. Simple. Easy. There are some things I want to work through. This requires nothing but 60 seconds, maybe more if you like. A minute of two of quiet time, reminding your brain to remember these series of promises to yourself. It works. 

I do video calls with a friend every week for 30 minutes.  We tell truths to each other. We poke holes in ideas. He helps keep my head quiet, so I can do the work I want to do. In a world where the rich and powerful seek to control every aspect of our lives with surveillance capitalism, we only have each other.

This is your life, not anyone else’s. It’s not the one you imagined, probably. Covid threw all of us into a weird pivot of every facet of our lives. We’re going to climb out.

You have this determination inside you. Your personal board of directors will help. 

John is not the CEO of your personal board of directors. He’s just at the table. Reach out.

 

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